mother’s day 2009

So, i think that Mother’s day itself probably isn’t such a bad idea. But I think all the hype around it sets many of us up to have unrealistic expectations. Thing is, if your H is the kind of guy that cooks and cleans and cares for the kids with little complaint, he’ll likely do the same on Mother’s Day. If, like my H, he’s a slacker dad, he’ll likely be a slacker on Mother’s day too. My cousin’s ex-H used to tell her “you’re not my mother, why should i do anything for you on M’s day?” Notice i said ex. I made sure the kids made cards for the grandmothers, that the grandmothers got called today and we had the craft kits for the kids. 

We had a nice day planned, H and I. He was going to make breakfast. I even printed out some simple recipes for him. We were going to make stepping stones with the kids and then we were going to take a little hike in “the 1000 acre swamp” just outside of town. There is a nursery nearby and so we were going to go over there to let the kids pick some flowers for me for the garden and then come home and plant them. 

Things started going amiss first thing in the AM though. I awoke with the baby and coming downstairs discovered S hadn’t finished the dishes last night. There were dirty dishes everywhere. So, after I fed the cats and took care of C, I did the dishes and ran the dishwasher. S stayed up way too late last night and so when the kids finally roused him, he was sleepy and cranky. He wandered aimlessly around the kitchen for half an hour, picking things up and putting them down and staring at the recipes and barking at the kids. Finally, with my blood sugar around 11, I made my own breakfast. Instead of S saying “don’t worry hon, I have lunch covered!” he got mad and refused to cook the kids anything. So, I made them breakfast too. Then he and R started fighting over using the wii and finally when I nagged about getting going, we did the stepping stones with the kids. C wiped some of the concrete powder in her eye and of course she cried really hard and so that made things pretty stressful. We did that before lunch and then the next thing I noticed, S went upstairs and took a nap. Just disappeared. 

So I cleaned up from the stepping stones and fed the kids (and myself lunch) and did the dishes (again), while C played with playdough (I helped) and R watched something on the computer. I switched the laundry (which I started earlier), picked up the living room from last night. 

So here it is 2 PM and we haven’t gone anywhere and S is still sleeping and I started thinking, this really isn’t any different than any Sunday. I rarely get to do the things I plan and I am the one who ends up being really flexible so others can do what they want. At least I put up such a fuss 6 years ago that he puts the effort into making sure I get at least one card from each kid, handmade please. 

And he’s buying me dinner tonight if it’s the last thing he does on this earth.

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~ by nawor on May 10, 2009.

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